


Fear

by PsychoStar



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adult Content, BDSM, M/M, Near Death Experience, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-14
Updated: 2012-09-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 04:43:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoStar/pseuds/PsychoStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't even begin to understand this!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> It's all fiction! I know Adam would NEVER be capable of this! 
> 
> FICTION!!!

Have you ever been scared?

 

I mean really _scared._ Completely and utterly mortifier, to the point where you think that your very existence is over.

 

The first time I felt that way was just hours ago and it hasn’t gotten better.

 

I was never into bondage, you may think that all gays are kinky and yes, most of us are, but I’m pretty vanilla. The furthest I ever went was fluffy handcuffs.

 

But Sauli was different, he craved something darker. In the beginning he didn’t even tell me, it’s not actually something you say on a first date, and then he learned I wasn’t into it so, again kept it to himself. I only learned about his dark side when I discovered his porn collection.

 

Caning, torture, BDSM, breath play. Some of them made me winch in the first five seconds. Yes, I watched them all. I needed to know everything about him. Because I love him. When I confronted him about it he admitted everything, apologized for hiding it and I forgave him. We never talked about it, the sex continued the same.

 

Until a few months ago, we were both coming home from a party, wasted as hell. Pushing Sauli against a wall and pulling his hair was the last thing I remember. Then I woke up with Sauli tied to the bed, full of bruised and some light scratches.

 

I honestly thought that we would break up that day. I was mad, I have no idea at whom, but I was furious. I could have really harmed him, and called him lots of names for having such weird preferences. He reminded me that I was the one who did all those things to him, so I got really angry and slapped him. He didn’t talk to me until the next day.

 

I refused to believe that I would be capable of doing something like that, but then I felt the sting in my palm again and broke down into cries.

 

That day was scary, but no, not as scary as this one. Because in the end Sauli forgave me and we managed to talk it over. We came to the agreement that I would only dominate him again once a month and that’s only if Sauli asks for it. Sauli loved me for it.

 

Last night though, I was the worst boyfriend ever. We both got stoned, I longed for the days when I was high all night and asleep all day, it was just supposed to be a taste, but I should have known better.

 

We took a taxi back home. I’ve never seen Sauli high, he was normally against drugs, but as always I influenced him.

 

My memory is hazy, so I don’t recall the whole scene, just parts, blurry pictures, faded screams, a naked body under me. By then I was trying to focus, and see what I was doing to him. Oh, of course. I was fucking him, it was nice and slow, waiting for my orgasm to build up properly. He was laughing, happy and needy. Oh, that’s it, he wanted something more from me. In the next picture my hands were wrapped against his neck, squeezing. My orgasm was closer now, and I was shouting and gagging. No, wait, that wasn’t me. That was Sauli, he must be really enjoying himself.

 

Why were my arms starting to hurt? Why do they sting? I asked myself when I started to focus again, I look down at Sauli. Aw! He was sleeping. Did we came? Wait, my arms, I looked down at them, they were a bit scratched and my hands were wrapped around something. Oh, it was Sauli’s neck. I immediately let go and called out Sauli’s name to wake him, make sure I didn’t hurt him. But there was no response.

 

I think it was at that point when the terror took roots. I shook him. Nothing. I slapped him. Nothing. I splashed water on him. Nothing. I checked his pulse… Nothing.

 

So I ask you, have you ever been truly scared?

 

“Adam…?”

**Author's Note:**

> I did not write this story recently, i have no idea when the fuck i wrote it or what does it mean!! 
> 
>  
> 
> But re-reading it, it seemed pretty interesting so i decided to post it. 
> 
> Hope it didn't disturb you too much.


End file.
